A man living quietly in Scotland picks up the phone and calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve. His voice is calm but serious as he says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you something. Your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough.” On the other end of the line, the son freezes. He starts shouting, asking what his father is talking about, insisting this can’t be real, telling him to slow down and explain.
The father doesn’t soften. He sighs and says they can’t stand the sight of each other anymore. He claims they’re exhausted, sick of pretending, sick of arguing, and sick of living under the same roof. He adds that he doesn’t want to discuss it any further and that he’s done explaining himself. Then he drops one last line before hanging up. “You should probably call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”
The son is frantic by the time he dials his sister. As soon as she hears the words “Mom and Dad are divorcing,” she completely loses it. She starts yelling that there’s no chance this is happening, that their parents are being ridiculous, and that she will personally stop this madness. She tells her brother not to do anything and hangs up before he can respond.
Moments later, the phone rings in Scotland. The daughter is on the line, furious. She screams at her father that he is absolutely not getting divorced, that he is not to file papers, pack bags, or say another word. She orders him to sit tight because she and her brother are coming the very next day to sort this out face to face. She makes him promise not to do a single thing until they arrive. Then she slams the phone down.
The old man slowly places the receiver back on its cradle. He turns to his wife, who has been watching him with a knowing look. He smiles, satisfied and relaxed, like a man who has just solved a very annoying problem. His wife looks at him and asks, “So? Did it work?”
He nods and says, “Of course it worked. They’re both coming home for Christmas.”
She pauses for a moment, then smiles. “And the flights?”
“Oh, they’re paying for those themselves,” he says calmly. “Best Christmas gift we could ask for.”
