John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
“Here’s to spending the rest of me life, with me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.

When he got home, he proudly told his wife Mary,
“I won the prize for the best toast of the night!”

She smiled and asked, “What did you say?”

John replied,
“I said, ‘Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!’”

Mary gasped and shouted,
“You idiot! That’s not what you said at all!”

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies at the shop.

“Oh,” the man laughed, “I heard John won the prize last night.”

“Yes,” Mary snapped, “and I’m not surprised — he’s only been there twice in the last year, and both times he fell asleep!” 😂