The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head. “Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?”

Johny: “Only three euros.”

The policeman: “Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial.”

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight.

Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, “Why did you put up such a fight?”

To which the man promptly replied, “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe.”

A man went to the Police Station

wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sergeant.

“No, no no!” said the man.

“I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

The Angry Wife.

A man is in a bar talking to his friend.

“Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.”

“Did he get anything?” asks his friend.

“Yes,” says the man.

“A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk.