Grandma Jones from the valley had never experienced a sick day in her life, so she didn\u2019t take it kindly when a bad case of the mulligrubs landed her in the hospital for observation. From the moment she was wheeled in, she made it clear she was not impressed. The room was too cold. The lights were too bright. The gown was an insult to modesty. The food looked like it had already been eaten once. And the mattress, according to Grandma, felt like it was stuffed with bricks and regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By the time a pair of husky interns finally got her tucked into bed, they were already exhausted. Grandma crossed her arms, stared at the ceiling, and muttered something about \u201cpeople calling this healthcare.\u201d Then her sharp eyes spotted a small plastic item attached to a cord, resting near her hand. She squinted at it suspiciously, like it was personally responsible for her discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat\u2019s that?\u201d Grandma demanded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf you need anything in the middle of the night, Grandma,\u201d one of the interns said cheerfully, \u201cjust press that button.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandma narrowed her eyes. \u201cWhat does it do, ring a bell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell,\u201d the intern smiled, \u201cit alerts the nurses\u2019 station so someone can come help you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandma nodded slowly, filed that information away, and said nothing more. The interns, relieved, quietly left the room. A few minutes later, the hospital floor erupted in chaos. Alarms started blaring. Lights flashed. Nurses came running from every direction, convinced an emergency was unfolding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They burst into Grandma\u2019s room to find her sitting upright, arms crossed, pressing the button repeatedly like she was playing a piano.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat is it, Grandma?\u201d a nurse asked urgently. \u201cAre you in pain?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo,\u201d Grandma said calmly. \u201cI just wanted to see how fast you people could move.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The room went silent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grandma looked around at the crowd, nodded approvingly, and added, \u201cNow that I know it works, maybe someone can fix this mattress.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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