{"id":30050,"date":"2026-02-01T20:08:38","date_gmt":"2026-02-01T20:08:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/?p=30050"},"modified":"2026-02-01T20:08:39","modified_gmt":"2026-02-01T20:08:39","slug":"a-minister-d1es-and-is-waiting-in-line-at-the-pearly-gates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/?p=30050","title":{"rendered":"A minister d1es and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a man who\u2019s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saint Peter addresses this guy, \u201cWho are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?\u201d The man replies, \u201cI\u2019m Joey Shasta, retired airline pilot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, \u201cTake this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next it\u2019s the minister\u2019s turn. He stands erect and booms out, \u201cI am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary\u2019s for the last 43 years.\u201d Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, \u201cTake this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust a minute,\u201d says the minister. \u201cThat man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUp here, we work by results,\u201d says Saint Peter. \u201cWhile you preached, people slept; while he flew, people prayed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

======================================<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A trio of old veterans were bragging and jokes<\/p>\n\n\n\n

about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy great grandfather, at age 13,\u201d one declared proudly, \u201cwas a drummer boy at Shiloh.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMine,\u201d boasts another, \u201cwent down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m the only soldier in my family,\u201d confessed vet number three, \u201cbut if my great grandfather was living today he\u2019d be the most famous man in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cReally? What\u2019d he do?\u201d his friends wanted to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing much\u2026 But he would be 165 years old.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

=====================================<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, \u201cWell, it looks like plastic.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he rolled it between his fingers adding, \u201cBut it feels like rubber.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Curious, the lawyer asked, \u201cWhat do you have there mister?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The drunk stammered, \u201cDamn if I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The lawyer said, \u201cLet me take a look.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the drunk handed it over. The attorney rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don\u2019t know what it is. Where did you get it anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The drunk replied, \u201cOut of my nose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a man who\u2019s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket,… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-30050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=30050"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30051,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30050\/revisions\/30051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=30050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=30050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yxnews.online\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=30050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}